What Is True Love? | BetterHelp (2023)

We all have a different idea of what true love entails. For some of us, our impression was formed from the examples we saw growing up. For others, it's the six types of love that we saw on TV or in movies. Some of us don't know where our idea of what true love is came from. But, unless you really know and understand what true love is, you may have a hard time knowing how to find it and then you may even question is love enough?

Most everyone would prefer the idea of true love meaning you have a happily ever after. That once you find the right person, everything is just going to be perfect. But this is real life, and those endings are for fairy tales.

Love Is Not One-Size-Fits-All

Online Couples Counseling Can Help

What Is True Love And How Can I Find It?

There's a quote by J.S. Park that says, "Real love doesn't meet you at your best. It meets you in your mess."

This quote does a great job of summing up what true love is all about. True love is not having a perfect relationship. It's not having a perfect person or being a perfect person either. Furthermore, it's not about believing in clichés like “love means never having to say you're sorry”. If you genuinely love someone, expressing sorry does not imply that you are arguing over who is right or wrong; instead, being sorry or saying sorry might mean mending a heart that longs for love and understanding. True love is not about always getting along, always having the best circumstances, or always having things easy with your partner.

But don't get discouraged; true love is still an amazing thing. But, it's not what it looks like in the media.

(Video) What is the Meaning of True Love?

In Movies

In the movies, true love looks like a person finding their perfect match. They may have a complicated time getting to the right person. But, when they do succeed in finding your perfect match, everything is wonderful. It's usually at the end of the movie when things wrap up so nicely and you just know it's going to be smooth sailing from then on.

True love doesn't look like this. When you are constantly comparing true love in real life to how its depicted on TV or in the movies, you’re often setting your relationships up for failure. If you're always waiting for someone to sweep you off your feet and never let you down, you're likely to be disappointed. While there might be someone out there that's a better fit for you than others, there is no perfect person, and there is no perfect relationship.

In Real Life

In real life, true love is two people who are willing to put aside their personal desires for the other person. It means loving someone enough that you're willing to look past their imperfections. This doesn't mean that you don't see your partner’s flaws, but that you choose them anyway. True love also means loyalty, and is not being in love with two people at the same time.

True love involves forgiving each other because no one is perfect. It means letting go of unrealistic expectations and knowing that there will be times when your partner fails you or lets you down. And you're going to do the same thing to them. There will be times when you'll need to apologize. True love is willing not to keep count and working to move past the difficulties.

People truly in love stick it out even when things get tough. When you truly love someone, you celebrate their successes, comfort them in their losses, laugh with them, cry with them, and experience life with them. If you listen to the words of typical marriage vows, they do a good job depicting what is required of true love: "For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part."

These are not easy words to live by. But this is what people truly in love do. They choose to be there and stick with it through it all.

True love is an acceptance of who you are as a person. Even when your partner doesn't agree with you, they don't try to change you. When you found true love, you often feel you can talk about anything with your partner. You can trust them with your deepest dreams, your hardest memories, and your biggest fears.

When two people are genuinely in love, they are a team. They're two people that have come together and have decided to stand in unison. They don't just look after their individual goals. Instead, they work together to better their lives together. It's not only about one person; it's about them together as a unit.

What Does True Love Feel Like?

Many people think that the feelings that they experience at the beginning of a relationship signal true love. It's exciting when things are brand new: butterflies in your stomach, blushing, flirting. It’s an exciting time in a relationship and while these are great feelings, they don’t necessarily indicate true love.

True love is felt over time as two people get to know each other. It isn't something that you can feel instantaneously for someone because you don't understand who they are or their character yet.

(Video) 8 Signs of True Love

But, true love can feel even better than those beginning phases of love. While electricity and chemistry might not always there, the relationship has the potential to grow into something that is so much deeper. It offers the comfort of being able to be completely you with no fear of judgment.

Overall, true love can bring up many emotions. There are days when you may feel like everything is right with the world, and then there will be days that challenge you more than you thought possible. But you love your partner, and you're willing to stick it out with them even during the difficult times.

True love might not feel the same for everyone, and that's all right. Each person is different, and each relationship is different. But, true love should never make you feel bad about yourself. If guilt, shame, and embarrassment are a constant part of your relationship, then it's something that should be addressed. This is a sign of an unhealthy relationship and not one of true love.

How To Know That It's Not True Love

Some people confuse true love with behaviors that are more related to codependency, low self-esteem, and people-pleasing. True love is not going to try to control you. Someone who loves you will want you to be your unique self. They're not going to make unjust demands or expect you to always give in when a compromise needs to be made.

True love is not going to require unrealistic expectations from you. A partner who truly loves you will not threaten you or push you into doing things that make you uncomfortable.

If someone truly loves you, they will be committed to you. They're not going to have another person on the side or do anything else that would break your trust. A people who truly loves you will not constantly compare you to others because they allow you to be yourself.

Love Is Not One-Size-Fits-All

Online Couples Counseling Can Help

(Video) What is true love? | Buddhism In English

True love does not include physical, verbal, emotional, or sexual abuse. Instead, it should provide you with feelings of comfort and safety. This is not what true love looks like or how someone truly in love acts.

If you are facing or witnessing abuse of any kind, theNational Domestic Violence Hotlineis available. Call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or Text "START" to 88788. You can also use theonline chat.

True love is also not a feeling; it's a choice. It's something that you have to decide to actively do . When you truly love someone, you cannot let your feelings and emotions control your behavior toward them.

When You Need A Little Help With Love

What is love? Love is a complicated thing. There is no one-size-fits-all explanation of what love looks like or how to love someone properly. This can make it tricky to figure out on your own.

You may have questions about why finding true love seem to be difficult or why you seem to sabotage your relationships. If you are struggling in this area, counseling can help you make the progress that you need. You may consider speaking with a counselor alone or with your partner.

Research shows that online counseling can be just as effective as traditional face-to-face therapy, and when it comes to couples, one study found that video-based counseling allowed many couples to feel a greater sense of control and comfort through the use of technology.

If you are interested in having the support of a therapist, consider working with a BetterHelp counselor. Anexperienced BetterHelp therapistcan help you work through things by asking the right questions to help you move forward. Counselors can offer an unbiased perspective in a setting that is safe and convenient. You can find comfort knowing that every BetterHelp provider is in good standing and has gone through an intensive review process conducted by another licensed clinician. Read these reviews of BetterHelp therapists who have helped people like you

“As someone who had sought counseling/therapy for the first time, I had serious doubts about the effectiveness of online therapy, but my first meeting with Susan erased those doubts immediately. Over the last six months, Susan has not only given me tools to help me establish boundaries but has given me a new perspective on relationships and life in general. After a few sessions, I was able to turn a corner and have a new outlook on my interactions with others. I wholeheartedly recommend Susan and hope to work with her again in the future.”

“I am so happy I got paired with Ruthie Brooks. My sessions with her have been a positive and insightful experience. As a result, I can see my relationships improving and I have a better understanding of myself. She is very professional, kind, and great at what she does.”

(Video) What Is True Love-Part 1 | Joyce Meyer | Enjoying Everyday Life


True love is complicated, but it's something that can be found and truly enjoyed. So, if you are struggling, reach out for help today.

Commonly Asked Questions

What is the real meaning of true love?
How do you know it is true love?
What true love feels like?
What is the difference between love and true love?
What is the purest form of love?
How do you know a man is your true love?
What are the key elements to true love?
What are the 4 types of love?
What is the highest form of love?
What makes a man feel connected to a woman?

What True Love means?

How do you know True Love?

Does True Love exist?

What are the 3 main qualities of love?

How long does true love last?

Can true love fade away?

How do you feel when in love?

(Video) What True Love Really Is

Does true love have jealousy?

Why do we feel pain in love?

Is love from the heart or brain?


What Is True Love? | BetterHelp? ›

It means loving someone enough that you're willing to look past their imperfections. This doesn't mean that you don't see your partner's flaws, but that you choose them anyway. True love also means loyalty, and is not being in love with two people at the same time.

What exactly true love means? ›

True love is a unique and passionate bond that connects you as a couple that wants the best for the other person regardless of what that means for them. It is the foundation for a healthy, loving relationship. True love is authentic and genuine.

What are signs of true love? ›

You can usually recognize real love by these 12 signs.
  • You feel safe with them. ...
  • They listen. ...
  • They acknowledge your differences instead of trying to change you. ...
  • You can communicate easily. ...
  • They encourage you to do your own thing. ...
  • You trust each other. ...
  • They make an effort. ...
  • You know you can collaborate or compromise.
Oct 28, 2020

What are the 4 types of love? ›

The Four Types of Love: Some Are Healthy, Some Are Not
  • Eros: Erotic, Passionate Love. We might as well get that one out of the way first. ...
  • Philia: Love of Friends and Equals. ...
  • Storge: Love of Parents for Children. ...
  • Agape: Love of Mankind.

Is True love and real love the same thing? ›

With True Love, You Truly Like Each Other. With Love, You Might Like Them In A More Superficial Way. When you are in love or in lust, the pure physical attraction can be so amazing that you don't really stop and think if you actually like the person.

How does true love happen? ›

True love is an acceptance of who you are as a person. Even when your partner doesn't agree with you, they don't try to change you. When you found true love, you often feel you can talk about anything with your partner. You can trust them with your deepest dreams, your hardest memories, and your biggest fears.

What should love feel like? ›

You feel intensely happy when you're in love. You can't stop thinking about them, talking about them with your friends, and your heart still goes pitter-patter when their name pops up on your phone screen. “You are excited to see them and are elated when you're around them,” Dr. Montgomery says.

How do you know that a man loves you deeply? ›

10 Signs He Loves You Deeply Even He Doesn't Say
  • He protects you.
  • You are his priority.
  • He wants you to be happy.
  • He supports your dreams.
  • He shows up when you need help.
  • He tries to make you feel better.
  • He is making plans for your future.
  • He shows up with plans already made.

What is the deepest love? ›

Deep love may be referred to as unconditional love or a soulmate connection. Although it can take time and effort to find this connection, it is often possible.

What is the highest level of love? ›

Agape — Selfless Love. Agape is the highest level of love to offer. It's given without any expectations of receiving anything in return. Offering Agape is a decision to spread love in any circumstances — including destructive situations.

What is the lowest form of love? ›

He describes friendship as "the least biological, organic, instinctive, gregarious and necessary...the least natural of loves".

Can true love change you? ›

True love is the most powerful force in the universe and when used in truth and integrity it can change your life and of those that are coming after us in the next generation.

How long does true love last? ›

Expect the passion to last two to three years at most, says Dr. Fred Nour, a neurologist in Mission Viejo, California, and author of the book “True Love: How to Use Science to Understand Love.”

What is the first stage of true love? ›

This first stage of the relationship may be referred to as the “honeymoon phase,” “puppy love,” or “infatuation.” In the initial stage of a relationship, partners may try to impress each other and could feel open-minded and excited by someone else reciprocating attraction.

What does soulmate love feel like? ›

Soulmates — both romantic and platonic — should make you feel loved, secure, and wholly understood. You not only feel deeply connected to a romantic soulmate but also a true sense of passion and chemistry.

What makes a man fall deeply in love with a woman? ›

Physical attraction, sexual compatibility, empathy, and emotional connection are key to making a man fall in love with a woman.

How do I know if I'm in love or attached? ›

Difference between love and attachment

Love evokes fond feelings and actions toward the other person, particularly. Attachment is driven by how you feel about yourself with the degree of permanence and safety someone gives you, based on your past relationships.

Who falls in love more deeply? ›

This is backed up by Marissa Harrison, a psychologist from Pennsylvania State University who thinks that women are much more cautious when it comes to love, while men tend to fall in love harder and faster. Studies show that a man's requirements to fall in love are significantly less stringent than those of a woman.

When you are madly in love? ›

Being madly in love means you listen, respect, and love each other as best friends. There aren't secrets or lies between you and you can confide in each other. You enjoy spending time with each other and you feel at your most natural when together.

What is the most beautiful form of love? ›

Calm on Twitter: "“To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.” — Robert Muller" / Twitter.

What is the highest form of intimacy? ›

The highest level of intimacy, requires the greatest amount of trust in our relationship. It is only when we feel truly safe with somebody, that we become willing to share the deepest core of who we are. It's up close and personal.

What is the most powerful act of love? ›

5 most powerful acts of love
  • 01/6Love is a very powerful feeling. Love has such a cosy and warm feeling to it; people who love with all their heart out have the power to change the world. ...
  • 02/6Sacrifice. ...
  • 03/6Loving with expectations. ...
  • 04/6Forgiveness. ...
  • 05/6Empathy. ...
  • 06/6Service.
Feb 6, 2023

What is the number 1 rule in love? ›

1. Respect Each Other. The first rule to keeping a strong, romantic relationship is to treat your loved one with respect. You have to respect your partner's time, heart, character, and, of course, his or her trust.

What is the example of purest love? ›

The purest form of love is selflessness.

What is the psychology of true love? ›

Love is a powerful, complex emotional experience that involves changes in your body chemistry, including your neurotransmitters (brain chemicals). It impacts your social relationships in varied ways, affecting how you relate to others around you.

What is true love between a man and a woman? ›

The signs of true love in a relationship include security, respect, and understanding. In fact, true love in its real sense involves how you act in a relationship with someone. The signs of true love between a man and a woman are about meeting each other's expectations, respect, and care.

What Behaviour makes a man fall in love? ›

Physical attraction, sexual compatibility, empathy, and emotional connection are key to making a man fall in love with a woman.

What happens when you fall in true love? ›

Researchers concluded that falling in love is much like the sensation of feeling addicted to drugs with the release of euphoria, including brain chemicals like dopamine, oxytocin, adrenaline, and vasopressin.

Does true love last forever? ›

Movies try to convince us we'll feel this way forever, but the intense romance has an expiration date for everyone. Expect the passion to last two to three years at most, says Dr. Fred Nour, a neurologist in Mission Viejo, California, and author of the book “True Love: How to Use Science to Understand Love.”

How do men know when they are in love? ›

A man who's falling in love tends to show his desire for greater closeness and intimacy in many different ways. He will likely prioritize spending time with you and put in real effort to make you happy. He may show you his softer side, while also serving as a source of strength and comfort when you need it most.

What makes a man love two woman at the same time? ›

Emotional behaviours and inclinations

According to Ken Munyua, a Nairobi-based psychologist, men can have a sense of attachment and commitment to more than one romantic partner, which they will define as love. “A man may be able to emotionally commit and attach himself to two women at the same time.

What is the highest form of love between a man and a woman? ›

Agape love, which is most often crowned as the highest form of Christian love, is the kind of love and action that shows empathy; extends the desire for good of the beloved; wants the best; extends help or demonstrates good intentions; and is intended for everyone.


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